The Suitcases We Carry: What Paddington Bear Can Teach Us About Trauma and Burnout
- Jayne Morris
- 2 days ago
- 4 min read
By Jayne Morris MCC | Executive Burnout Coach, Founder of Balanceology and Author of Burnout to Brilliance
I’ve found myself talking about Paddington Bear recently.
He’s been on my mind since I sat down with trauma specialist Dr Susanna Petche to explore the often-overlooked relationship between trauma and burnout. As we talked about adaptation, coping strategies and the invisible load many people carry through life, Paddington appeared in my mind as a metaphor.
Most of us know him as warm, polite and endlessly hopeful. We see the blue coat, red hat, marmalade sandwiches and gentle humour.
What we don't often stop to consider is everything he has lived through. Separation from family, loss, displacement, the uncertainty of arriving somewhere unfamiliar, learning how to navigate a culture he does not yet understand, trying hard to get things right, trying hard to belong, trying hard not to be a burden… and always carrying that little suitcase.
Perhaps that is why so many people feel strangely protective of Paddington. Something in his story feels familiar and like Paddington, we hide stories of our struggles in suitcases that we carry around with us.
The Exhaustion of Adaptation
One of the themes Dr Susanna and I explored is that trauma is not necessarily defined by a single event or the experience of ongoing happenings. It is often more deeply reflected in what happens inside us as a result of them. Through the adaptations we make, the strategies we develop and the ways we learn to stay safe and keep going.
Many of these adaptations are extraordinary acts of resilience because they help us survive, belong and navigate environments that may once have felt uncertain, unpredictable or overwhelming.
Yet adaptation takes its toll.
Over time, maintaining hypervigilance, perfectionism, people pleasing, emotional self-silencing or over-responsibility can require enormous amounts of energy.
Many of the people I work with are highly successful and from the outside they appear calm, capable and dependable. Much like Paddington. They have achieved incredible things in life, but at a cost, because beneath the surface their nervous system is working incredibly hard. At some point all of the hidden effort and carrying of heavy cases can become impossible to sustain. That’s when burnout arrives.
The Suitcases We Carry
Following the conversation I had the reflection that many of us move through life carrying invisible suitcases. I shared this metaphor during ICF International Coaching Week when I was delivering a workshop on the topic of trauma as an unspoken contributor to burnout.
I described our suitcases as being full of all of our experiences, the messages we have received, the expectations placed upon us, responsibilities on our shoulders, the losses we have lived through and our protective strategies.
Some suitcases are heavier than others.
Some have been carried for decades.
Some people know exactly what is inside them.
Others have become so accustomed to carrying them that they barely notice they are there.
What I often see in burnout recovery is that people finally reach a point where they can no longer keep carrying everything and the body intervenes. It is as if the nervous system finally demands that we pay attention.
When burnout comes into the coaching space and meets a trauma-informed practitioner, this may be the first time someone has ever have allowed themselves to put the suitcases down.
That doesn’t necessarily mean they open them, or unpack every item.
Just to stop carrying them alone.
A Different Way of Understanding Burnout
This is one reason why I believe burnout is rarely just about workload. Yes, for many work may be the place where exhaustion becomes visible and systemically we do need to examine unhealthy work cultures.
However, there are often multiple streams feeding into a river that bursts its banks.
These include past experiences, current pressures, relationship dynamics, identity, expectations and adaptations.
Our nervous systems do not separate these experiences into neat categories. Instead, they carry the cumulative load.
When we begin to understand burnout through this wider lens, recovery starts to look different too, because it becomes less about fixing ourselves and more about understanding ourselves. Less about pushing harder and more about creating safety. Less about becoming who we were before and more about reconnecting with who we are underneath everything we have been carrying.
Listen and learn more
Available now via Balanceology and all major podcast platforms.
🎤 Dr Susanna Petche's TEDx Talk – Is Trauma Costing You Your Future? offers a powerful and compassionate exploration of how trauma can shape our physical health, emotional wellbeing, relationships and sense of self, often long after the original experiences have passed.
If this conversation has prompted you to reflect on your own patterns of stress, exhaustion, hypervigilance or difficulty switching off, please know that you do not have to navigate these experiences alone. Recovery is rarely about trying harder. More often, it begins with understanding ourselves more deeply, creating safety, and finding the right support.
Coaching can provide a valuable space to explore these patterns with curiosity, compassion and care, whilst recognising when additional specialist support may also be beneficial.
To work with Jayne or one of our Associate coaches, all of whom have completed the ICF-accredited Balanceology Certified Burnout Coach Programme, please contact hello@balanceology.uk.
Comments